Xanfan

Fic: So Sings the Wind - Part 4 – The Walk of Life

Wed, 28 May 2008 04:29:06 GMT

Title: So Sings the Wind – Part 4 – The Walk of Life
Author: Xanfan
Fandom: Launching from BtVS and going into many others, including but not limited to Stargate, NCIS, CSI (all), Sentinel, Highlander
Rating: R
Pairing: none, yet
Summary: Two years after Chosen and one year after NFA, the Scoobies discover that what they’ve always believed to be true is a lie, the result of an unwise use of the “W” word. Was Whistler being ironic when he told Angel that Buffy “must be prettier than the last Slayer?” In all the years of modern medicine, surely Buffy was not the first Slayer to be revived. Could they, should they, would they be able to make the world right again?
Spoilers: All of Buffy
Warnings: AU, possible slash
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Part 4

Previous Chapters

Fic: Didn't See That Coming - Part 7 - Three Bears

Sat, 24 May 2008 22:34:12 GMT

Title: Didn’t See That Coming - Chapter 7 – Three Bears
Author: Xanfan
Rating: Some parts might be R or NC-17
Pairing: surprise M/M
Summary: My take on the Xander as a baby thing. The Initiative did even more bad things than we knew.
Spoilers: Up to beginning of Season 5 of Buffy and for Replacement; Up through season 3 of NCIS
Warnings: Slash

Chapter 7

Previous Parts

Fic - So Sings the Wind - Part 3 - If Wishes Were Horses

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:09:40 GMT

Title: So Sings the Wind – Part 3 - If Wishes Were Horses
Author: Xanfan
Fandom: Launching from BtVS and going into many others, including but not limited to Stargate, NCIS, CSI (all), Sentinel, Highlander
Rating: R
Pairing: none, yet
Summary: Two years after Chosen and one year after NFA, the Scoobies discover that what they’ve always believed to be true is a lie, the result of an unwise use of the “W” word. Was Whistler being ironic when he told Angel that Buffy “must be prettier than the last Slayer?” In all the years of modern medicine, surely Buffy was not the first Slayer to be revived. Could they, should they, would they be able to make the world right again?
Spoilers: All of Buffy
Warnings: AU, possible slash
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Part 3

Previous Parts

Fic: So Sings The Wind - Part 2 - He Misses Her II

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 02:31:55 GMT

Title: So Sings the Wind – Part 2 – He Misses Her II
Author: Xanfan
Fandom: Launching from BtVS and going into many others, including but not limited too Stargate, NCIS, CSI (all), Sentinel, Highlander
Rating: R
Pairing: none, yet
Summary: Two years after Chosen and one year after NFA, the Scoobies discover that what they’ve always believed to be true is a lie, the result of an unwise use of the “W” word. Was Whistler being ironic when he told Angel that Buffy “must be prettier than the last Slayer?” In all the years of modern medicine, surely Buffy was not the first Slayer to be revived. Could they, should they, would they be able to make the world right again?
Spoilers: All of Buffy
Warnings: AU, possible slash
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

He Misses Her II

Previous Parts

Fic: So Sings the Wind - Part 1 - He Misses Her

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:36:15 GMT

Title: So Sings the Wind – Part 1 – He Misses Her
Author: Xanfan
Fandom: Launching from BtVS and going into many others, including but not limited too Stargate, NCIS, CSI (all), Sentinel, Highlander
Rating: R
Pairing: none, yet
Summary: Two years after Chosen and one year after NFA, the Scoobies discover that what they’ve always believed to be true is a lie, the result of an unwise use of the “W” word. Was Whistler being ironic when he told Angel that Buffy “must be prettier than the last Slayer?” In all the years of modern medicine, surely Buffy was not the first Slayer to be revived. Could they, should they, would they be able to make the world right again?
Spoilers: All of Buffy
Warnings: AU, possible slash
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Part 1

Previous Parts: Prologue

New Fic!: So Sings the Wind – Prologue - Gone

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:54:46 GMT

Title: So Sings the Wind – Prologue - Gone
Author: Xanfan
Fandom: Launching from BtVS and going into many others, including but not limited too Stargate, NCIS, CSI (all), Sentinel, Highlander
Rating: R
Pairing: none, yet
Summary: Two years after Chosen and one year after NFA, the Scoobies discover that what they’ve always believed to be true is a lie, the result of an unwise use of the “W” word. Was Whistler being ironic when he told Angel that Buffy “must be prettier that the last Slayer” In all the years of modern medicine, surely Buffy was not the first Slayer to be revived. Could they, should they, would they be able to make the world right again?
Spoilers: All of Buffy
Warnings: AU, possible slash
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Notes: This is an idea that has been running around in my head for almost two years. The premise is that what we know as canon BtVS is actually an altered realty created by a wish.
There will be slash and some het relationships, but this story is mostly about the non-romantic relationships that develop in our lives.
________________________________________________________________________

He surveyed the land sprawling out before him and he missed her, again, still. He missed her humor, her laugh, her eyes that always seemed to know what he was thinking.

Sometimes her absence was a physical ache. She’d left an open wound on his soul that he couldn’t fill, not with people or things or drink or adrenaline. In all the years that she had been gone, he could still hear her voice in his head and see her smile behind his closed eyes. A couple of years ago, the gnawing ache had eased for a few months; he’d felt like maybe he had come to accept that she was at peace, like she was where she was supposed to be. Then one fall night the wrongness came back with a vengeance. He had woken up choking back a scream from a horrible nightmare of confusion and violence and pain.

Nobody spoke of her anymore. Most of his team, his made family, had either never met her or long since forgotten her. They didn’t know how brilliant she was, how caring and brave and amazing.

It still felt wrong, her death, her absence from the world. It felt like a gaping hole in the universe.

Fic - The Choice - Part 12a

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 23:31:35 GMT

Title: The Choice – Part 12a
Author: Xanfan
Rating: Mature
Pairing: various, including M/M Slash
Summary: Response to challenge found here http://beyondcanon.brain-insane.com/challenges.php?chalid=38. The Scoobies discover that Buffy’s resurrection has allowed the First to gain a foothold in this world. Xander is told that the balance must be restored, and the only way to do that is for a Slayer to die. Who does he choose? Buffy or Faith?
Spoilers: Up to season 7 of Buffy and 4 of Angel. Cordy never comes back from being a higher being, so, no beast master.
Warnings: SLASH, CHARACTER DEATH

Banner & Icon by spuffy_noelle

Newest Chapter here

Previous Chapters

Fic: I Finally Remembered You. Part 38 – The Watcher

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 05:43:55 GMT

Title: I Finally Remembered You. Part 38 – The Watcher
Author: Xanfan
Rating: R/NC-17 for other chapters
Pairing: X/A
Summary: AU futurefic. Slash. Xander, not Buffy, had gone to see Angel in “I Will Remember You.” Years later, he finally keeps his promise.
Spoilers: All of BtVS & Ats
Warnings: Slash M/M, mild language, more in future chapters

Banner Art & Icon by katekat1010

Newest Chapter here

Previous Parts

Plot Bunny That Keeps Biting - Should I Bite Back and Write the Thing?

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 23:50:38 GMT

First of all, I'm back to writing and have a few chapters of my WIPS with my beta reader, so don't fret about me neglecting my WIPS.

So, I've had this other plot bunny harassing me for like a year, but I've really tried not to listen to it because I know that it will be a huge project.... Anyway, in an effort to decide my fate, I'm asking you all if you would read a story with the following summary:

Two years after Chosen and one year after NFA, the Scoobies discover that what they've always believed to be true is a lie, the result of an unwise use of the "W" word. Was Whistler being ironic when he told Angel that Buffy "must be prettier than the last Slayer" In all the years of modern medicine, surely Buffy was not the first Slayer to be revived.

So let me know if you would or wouldn't read this story, and be honest. If you're still on the fence, I'll give you a little more of what I'm thinking.

Fic: Written In the Stars - Chapter 23 – Home Truths

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 08:32:09 GMT

Yes, I have a new chapter, woot!

Title: Written In The Stars, Part 23 – Home Truths
Author: Xanfan
Rating: R/NC-17 for future chapters
Pairing: m/m
Summary: SLASH. Xander and Spike become friends after Spike gets the chip, they are both hurt and Dru rescues them and brings them to Angel to heal.
Spoilers: BtVS up through season 4 and Ats 1st season. I may however take some liberties with the exact timeline, so, any season from either show is fair game.
Warnings: SLASH

Banner & Icon by katekat1010

Find the newest chapter here

Find Previous Chapters here

10 things that made me happy recently

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:58:35 GMT

10 things that made me happy recently

tagged by sublimatedangel

1. TiVo-ing the Oscars and fast forwarding through commercials and speeches and not-funny moments.

2. Seeing that "falling slowly" won for Best Song at the Oscars.

3. Finally getting around to redoing my website and getting all my fic uploaded to it (all 31 fics and 150 chapters)

4. Writing again. I've sent 3 new chapters to my beta reader and am working on a 4th, all to different fic or for spring_with_xan

5. Seeing my brother's email from Iraq and knowing that he's okay.

6. Catching up on all my TiVo'd episodes of Stargate: Atlantis and CSI: New York

7. Giggling while my grandma and mom were on speaker phone and trying to get me to explain to them why the people on Project Runway made it as far as they did and hearing my grandma call Christian "that kid with the funny hair" and my mom call Remy "the toga guy"

8. Remembering that trash day is tomorrow and remembering to take out the garbage can to the curb before I put on my pajamas and not after (like every other week)

9. Getting my dad (who doesn't like peanut butter) to eat my peanut-butter-chocolate-chip scones like they free crack and he hasn't had a fix in a week.

10. Reading Voracity's newest fic's first chapter on her yahoo group that is a Buffy/House crossover with House being Xander's dad. It's hilarious.

I'm supposed to tag 10 people, but I only go to 8, so just ignore this if you already have been tagged xanzpet, scyllablue, suki_blue, sanity_oasis, katekat1010, jans_intentions, tamibrandt, & strickens_girl

News and Drabble Call

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 22:15:01 GMT

Okay, I admit, I don't write drabbles, I write fics & ficlets. So lets call this a prompt call instead. I'm once again participating in spring_with_xan, so just like the last two times, I'm taking requests. So comment with your requests and I'll write a ficlet for my spring_with_xan day on April 25th, 2008.

News: I have changed around my website Xanfan.net. I've put all my fics onto an archive like format to make it easier for me to update but also easier for others to read and get updates. I encourage you to check it out. I've also started using Del.icio.us for my recs, because it's really awesome to be able to rec fics as your reading them and it's super cool. So go check out my site here and find links to my personal fic archive as well as my del.icio.us recs.

Xanfan

New Layout

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 22:17:50 GMT

I was bored, so I made a new layout. Now I just need cool xanfan Icons to go with.

Xanfan

The week before opening night

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 06:37:26 GMT

I'm exhausted and we haven't even opened yet. We haven't gone home before 10:30 any night this week. I'm having a great time, but I'm also looking forward to when this is all over and I can actually function as a human being instead of only seeing my new home, that I just moved into, for the 6 hours I get to sleep before I have to go to work. Please think positive thoughts in my direction because we open on Friday.

BtVS: I Finally Remembered You - Part 37 - What's Going On?

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:01:22 GMT

Title: I Finally Remembered You. Part 37 – What’s Going On?
Author: Xanfan
Rating: R/NC-17 for other chapters
Pairing: X/A
Summary: AU futurefic. Slash. Xander, not Buffy, had gone to see Angel in “I Will Remember You” Years later, he finally keeps his promise.
Spoilers: All of BtVS & Ats
Warnings: Slash M/M, mild language, more in future chapters

Banner and Icon by katekat1010
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Words in Italics indicate thoughts. Except at the very beginning when they indicate ‘previously on ….”

___________________________

Previously on IFRY:

“But why? Why take the day away? Why did Angel remember and not Xander? Why do they both seem to remember now?” Willow asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out,” Spike said as he opened the door, intending to go and confront the duo in question, only to find said couple standing outside the door, Xander with one hand raised to knock.

“Looking for us?” Xander asked.

“You bet your hienie we are,” Willow said as she and Spike each grabbed one of them by the arm and pulled them into the room.

******************

After Xander and Angel were in the room, Spike slammed the door closed and put a chair under the handle. Willow quickly did an anti-eavesdropping spell on the room and they turned and faced Angel and Xander, who were sitting side by side on Spike's bed, not holding hands but with their hands resting against each other between them on the bed.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Just hold hands you idjets, not like we don't know you're in luuuuurve," Spike mocked.

Willow just smiled at the two softly, then her expression turned fierce. "So, what happened when you went to L.A. after that Thanksgiving after high school, Xander? Why'd the day have to be taken away, Angel?"

The couple looked at each other in alarm, having no idea Willow knew that much. "Uh, how'd you know?" Xander asked.

"She's right brilliant, in't she? You shoulda known she'd figure this out," Spike said proudly.

Angel hid a grin; his fellow vampire was smitten, he would so be teasing Spike over this.

Xander hid a grin; someone had a crush! Willow would turn such a pleasing shade of red, brighter than her hair, when he teased her about this.

Willow flushed lightly at the praise, but didn't let it distract her from her mission. "Don't try to avoid the questions."

Angel and Xander looked at each other; Xander raised an eyebrow, Angel lightly shrugged; Xander tilted his head, Angel furrowed his brow; Xander smirked, Angel sighed in defeat.

Spike and Willow could only look on in amazement at this silent conversation. Spike looked at Willow for help. Willow sighed and whispered, "I can only guess, but I think Xander asked if they should, Angel said he guessed it was all right, Xander asked who was going to tell the story, Angel didn't want it to be him, Xander knew it would be Angel all along and Angel knew it too and gave in gracefully."

Spike looked at her in awe. "How'd you figure that out?"

"I've known Xander since we were five, you learn a few things," Willow whispered back, then turned her attention back to the dark-haired duo in question, only to find them looking at her in amusement.

"You're pretty good with the interpreting, Wills, maybe you could be the Xander-to-English Dictionary for everyone else," Xander teased.

"You don't need me to do that, you've already got someone who understands you without you having to say a word," Willow teased back.

Xander blushed, sneaking a peek back at Angel through his eyelashes. Angel grinned.

"Sod it, you two are gonna make me gag with your cuteness. Stop it," Spike growled lightly.

"Aww, You think we're cute, Spike? Isn't that sweet, Angel? Spike thinks we're cute," Xander teased.

Angel laughed at his boy’s antics, especially because of the look they caused on Spike's face.

Willow looked on in concern. "Angel, can vampires have a stroke? Because Spike looks like he's about to bust a vein in his head or something. That can't be good, right?"

Spike settled himself down and cleared his throat. "So how about you quit with the distractin’ and tell us what the hell is goin' on?"

Angel let Spike change the subject back without comment - he could be tormented over this later. "After the Chumash tribe Thanksgiving, Xander came to see me in my office and......"

*********************

Willow and Spike had long since sat down with stunned thunks on the chairs in the room. After Angel finished his story, including what had happened after Angel and the crew had arrived here in England, they were silent, but the two seemed to be vibrating.

"How could you do that?" Willow finally whispered harshly. "How could you just let him walk away like that? He's the love your life, un-life, existence, whatever, and you just let him walk away, ‘cause it'd be hard? ‘Cause you'd have to work hard to keep each other safe? You don't do that. I don't care about you turning back into a vampire and taking the day away, but you could have done something, anything to make him stay or just let him know how you felt. It's not right; you don't throw away love."

Xander stood up and took Willow into his arms. He held her close when she started sobbing silently. He knew this wasn't entirely about them. "Shh, Willow, it's okay now. I know, we all get so caught up in doing the 'right thing' sometimes that we get lost in it and forget that there might be more than one way to do it. And the Powers, they didn't give him all the info, all the choices, because they knew that Buffy still needed me and that L.A. needed Angel. And they couldn't have guessed that he wouldn't look for more options. He's a linear thinker, Wils. I love the guy, but he doesn't think outside the box. I think it's the hair gel, it weighs too heavily on his brain."

Willow sniffled a giggle, Spike snorted and Angel gave a quiet, "Hey!"

Xander tipped up Willows chin and smoothed her hair back behind her ear. "And you didn't walk away from love. You got lost for a little while, but when it counted you were there. Tara died being loved by you, Willow, being held by you, which was all she really wanted, I'm pretty sure."

Willow nodded and wiped her eyes and nose on his shoulder. "Ewww," Xander whined.

"Serves you right for telling Faith before you told me," Willow pouted.

Xander stepped back. "But wasn't it funner trying to figure it all out? I know you love a mystery, Wills, it's why you're such a good Scooby."

Willow socked him lightly on the arm and let him go back to sitting next to his boyfriend.

"Xander has a boyfriend," Willow said in wonder.

Spike smirked at her words, but his eyes turned cold as focused his attention on Angel. "You're a bloomin' moron, you know that, don't you, Peaches? You hurt the Whelp like that again, I'll be using your entrails as garters, got it?"

Xander was awed by Spike's threats on his behalf.

Willow nodded her agreement fervently.

The older vampire just stared into his childe's eyes, seeing the promise there. He was glad his boy had found a solid friendship with the blond vampire, glad he himself had someone willing to tell him when he was being wrong-headed and stupid.

"Understood, I'd encourage it if I ever did something like that again," Angel promised.

"So, what are we going to do about Buffy?" Willow asked.

Xander whimpered at the name. Angel put an arm around his shoulders to offer comfort.

"Not goin' to be easy, is it? Tellin' her?" Spike said.

"What if she hates me?" Xander whispered. The loss of their closeness was bad enough, but if she hated him, if they were never friends again, that would be more than he could bear.

"Xander, Buffy hasn't been the girl we met when she first came to Sunnydale in a long time, sweetie. As hard as it is to admit, she'll probably never be that girl again. If it's not about saving the world or fighting demons, she hasn't looked beyond her own needs and wants in a really long time. This life has been really hard on her."

"It's been hard on us too," Xander said.

"I know, and we've both suffered for it. I admit to not being a very nice person to be around for awhile, and that's not including when I tried to end the world. And you have to think about the person Buffy was before she became the Slayer. From what I understand, high school Cordy was nice and sweet and giving in comparison. Those roots had to come out at some point. Yes, she's saved the world a lot, and she's had her moments of being the wonderful giving person we want her to be, but deep down, she's always been shallow and selfish, it's who she is. The girl we met our sophomore year of high school was the kindler, gentler, humbled by reality version of Buffy. I'm thinking who she is now and has been for the last few years is closer to the real her than that one was," Willow admitted.

Angel and Spike looked at each other and nodded in agreement. What Willow was saying actually made a lot of sense. Yes, Buffy was a great Slayer and all, but the girl behind the Slayer hadn't always been so wonderful. Not that she was a bad person, she was just immature and self-centered.

"So we might not ever be friends again?" Xander asked sadly.

"You'll always be her friend, Xander, it's who you are, but she hasn't been the friend you needed her to be in a very long time," Willow answered as best she could.

"But she and I aren't your only friends anymore, Xan. Now you’ve got not only me, but also Spike, Angel, Faith, Gunn, Lorne, a whole buttload of Slayers who worship the ground you walk on and even Andrew, who wants to be just like you when he grows up. You don't need to cling to her anymore. Let go, Xander, don't stop being her friend, but let go of the desperation to have her be yours," Willow advised, vowing to take the advice to heart herself.

Angel pulled Xander into his lap and rocked him. He knew this was hard for his boy to hear, but it needed to be said and Xander needed to realize that he had more going for him than just Buffy.

Xander let Angel cradle him in his arms and allowed Willow's words to roll around in his head. He realized that what she was saying had truth. He would never abandon Buffy or stop being her friend, but she had emotionally abandoned him a long time ago. Maybe one day she would grow up and realize what she was missing out on, but he couldn't hold his breath waiting for it. And he didn't have to. He wasn't a lonely fifteen year old anymore. He had tons of people in his life who liked and respected him, and even loved him. He would always care for Buffy, but his life didn't revolve around her any more.

"So, how are we going to deal with Buffy?" Xander said, re-asking Willow's question.

"Tell her the truth, but not be mean about it? Maybe she'll finally let go of her feelings for Angel and move on and grow up?" Willow asked.

"We'll need back-up… I say we ask Giles for help. And maybe Faith for additional muscle," Xander offered.

"Giles can rein her in when he chooses to," Angel admitted, "Although asking for his help will mean we will actually have to tell him what is going on first."

"Oh crap," Xander said, having forgotten about his father-figure in this whole mess.

Previous Chapters

American Idol -Personal Request to Fans of Sanjaya

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 03:42:28 GMT

Dear Fanjayas (as you have so cleverly dubbed yourselves),

Please tell me where you have acquired the drugs that you all seem to be taking. The visual and auditory hallucinations are apparently quite amazing as they continually allow you to believe that this unattractive young man with the personality of a wet paper towel and so little singing talent as to make want to hurl, sound and appear handsome and amazingly talented. I believe I might like these drugs that you take week after week because that might possibly be the only way I can actually sit through his performance next week without changing the channel (usually the nausea his performances induce force me to change the channel after the first few lines, or notes, depending on the degree of suckiness).

xanfan

I apologize if I seem to harsh, but the boy is just really, really, really (and one more really) bad. And yet he inexplicably is not in the bottom three week after awful week.

I Am Official A Pet Owner Gasp!

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 00:25:10 GMT

Yes, it's true, I've become one of them. I have to say, this was a tricky process because I am allergic to pretty much everything that has fur or feathers. So that left me very few options. Lizards, snakes and bugs creep me out. Frogs are cute in animated or plush form, but not so much in real life. So that left fish. So yes, I got a fish today. His name is Charlie (I was going to name him Bob, because I always thought it would be quirky to name a pet Bob, but then I have an uncle Bob and that would just be weird). He is a male Crown Tale Beta and he's very pretty bluish-purpleish-redish color(s).

Now, I have some concern about whether this will work out. The last time I owned fish I was eight and they both died, but not until after one had eaten bits off the other after it had died. My mom suggested I wait awhile to try to have fish again. So, it took me 20 years to work up the nerve to try again.

The other concern is will I be a good and responsible pet owner, me who prides myself on not taking on responsibilities (I'm not irresponsible, per se, I just don't want to have to be responsible for things). I've managed to kill off SIMS, 32 entire tribes of Virtual Villagers, bamboo plants and Virtual Fish, so what makes me think I can keep a real fish alive?

Well, I hope Charlie is a sturdy and perservering fish, cause he's gonna need it.

Open Doors 11 - What the Hell?

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 04:58:32 GMT

Title: Open Doors – Part 11 – What the Hell?
Author: Xanfan
Fandom: Buffy/NCIS crossover
Rating: Potentially R/Mature
Pairing: eventually Tony/Xander
Summary: SLASH - When some doors slam shut, others open. Two men with a history of being pushed aside learn that it’s the small moments that can change everything.
Spoilers: up to Boxed In, season 3 of NCIS, All of Buffy, post Chosen
Warnings: Slash M/M

Banner and Icon by sanity_oasis
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
_____________________________________

Last Time:

Xander took off running towards the nearby alleyway while Tony stared for a moment, then pulled his gun from its holster at his back and followed.

He made it to the alley in time to see Xander pull a man off a struggling woman. He caught sight of mask-like features before Xander pulled something from his jacket and stabbed the man in the chest. Tony watched in horror, then shock, as the man his date had stabbed disappeared in a shower of dust.

“What the hell?” Tony said.

************

Xander’s head jerked up at the sound of Tony’s voice. His face flickered through various emotions, settling on wariness.

Tony walked slowly towards Xander, ignoring the woman who stumbled past him towards the street, dazed but unharmed. “What just happened here, Xander? And please don’t lie to me.”

“So, you wouldn’t believe that this is a really dusty alley and they should really sweep out here more?” Xander asked, trying to diffuse the tension.

“You just stabbed someone and they disappeared. Please give me an explanation that won’t involve me taking you to the police station,” Tony pleaded.

Xander rubbed a hand over his face, tired from his recent exertions. He raised his other hand and held out the wooden object to the NCIS agent.

“What is that?” Tony asked.

“It’s a stake,” Xander said quietly.

“Just tell me what’s going on, Xander. I’m really not in the mood to play 20 questions,” Tony said in frustration. “And again, don’t lie to me; if you do, we’re through.”

Xander’s lips twisted into a bitter mockery of a smile. “The real question is, will we be through even after I’ve told you the truth, or will you even believe the truth if you hear it?”

Tony sighed and reached out a hand, catching hold of Xander’s arm to pull the younger man slowly towards him. When he was close enough, he tilted Xander’s chin up and urged the brunet to meet his eyes. “Xander, please, tell me what just happened. Up until that scream, tonight was the best first date of my entire life, if not the best date period. From day one, I knew that there was more to you than meets the eye. And there is definitely more to your ‘school for girls’ and your odd friends than you’ve told me. I haven’t rushed you for an explanation, because I’d figured you would tell me when you could, when the time was right. What happened just now, it’s all connected to the other stuff, isn’t it? I can’t wait patiently any longer, Xander. The time to tell me is now. Because if I have to turn you in for murder, it’ll kill me. So please, please tell me you can explain this.”

Xander’s eye filled with moisture. He began to speak, telling the story the way he had been told, his voice that of someone reciting a speech they’ve heard and given over and over again. “The world is older than you know. It began, not as a paradise like many believe, but as something completely the opposite. It was hell on earth. Demons roamed freely. Then man came, and the demons tried to subjugate them like animals, but man eventually revolted. The demons were forced from this plane, this dimension. Legend holds that as the last demon left, he took a human and fed it his essence, imbuing the man with a portion of his demon, give him supernatural strength and an unholy thirst for human blood, creating the first vampire.”

“Was that what that man was?” Tony asked gently, recognizing from Xander’s distant monotone that he was using the long explanation to guard his emotions, not dance around the question.

Xander just nodded and continued. “The vampire preyed upon other humans and was only susceptible to sunlight, fire and a wooden stake through the heart. Like any beast, it had a biological imperative to reproduce. Unlike man and animal, it replicated by draining a human to the point of death and feeding the human its blood, reanimating the dead body with a demon. Soon, man was plagued by vampires and they sought a means to fight them and other lesser demons. So a group of old men took a girl, chained her to the earth, and much like how the first vampire was created, they created a Slayer by imbuing her with a portion of a demon spirit to give her the strength and skill to fight the vampires.”

Tony’s eyes widened in horror, not liking where this story was going; his mind flashed to Xander’s little girls and his stomach rolled.

“So the Slayer fought, killing vampires and other demons that had managed to find their way back into this dimension. She fought tirelessly until she was killed in battle and when she died, that which made her the Slayer passed onto another girl, who would take up the title and the fight in her place. And so, from then on, there was a Slayer, one girl in all the world to fight the vampires and demons. And when a Slayer died, another one was called. Until a little over a decade ago, they fought alone with just a Watcher to support them.”

“What happened?” Tony asked.

Xander’s eyes lost the faraway look of a man telling a legend and filled with emotion and memories. He whispered, “Buffy came to town and I found out about the things that go bump in the night and the girl who bumps back. Then my best friend died and I had to stake the demon wearing his face.”

Tony pulled the young man fully into his arms. He didn’t have words, so his embrace was the only comfort he could give.

“I couldn’t just walk away, neither could Willow. So we made Buffy the Vampire Slayer let us help her. Giles, her Watcher, was peeved, but there was nothing he could do or say to discourage us. Before Buffy, our classmates were disappearing and dying left and right; you went to school on Monday morning and part of the morning announcements was a list of the students who had been listed as missing or had died from mysterious accidents with barbeque forks or animal attacks over the weekend. Sometimes the reading of it took almost all of first period. By the time we graduated, our class had the lowest death rate in Sunnydale High history. We helped Buffy make a difference,” Xander explained, desperate to believe he had helped.

“But there’s not just one girl in all the world anymore, is there?” Tony asked, remembering Rona’s fierceness and how the girl seemed to radiate power, like many of the other girls in Xander’s care. “What happened?”

“A few years ago, the world was ending, and we just couldn’t fight it alone. The Big Bad of the moment was having potential Slayers killed, trying to end the Slayer line. We needed help, so we changed history. We activated them all. Every potential Slayer in the world became a Slayer, with supernatural strength and abilities. And we won, the world didn’t end.... And then we had to face the consequences. We didn’t think about how far reaching our actions would be. Or how young some of the girls would be.”

“The little ones? They’re all Slayers too?” Tony asked in disbelief.

“Yes, even them. And we can’t uncall them. There are hundreds of them, Tony. We traveled the world, finding as many as we could. Now we train them, make sure they know how to use the power they have, how to control their strength, how to fight the demons that are drawn to them because they’re Slayers. Eventually, some will return home to protect their villages and towns. Some girls were exiled from their homes because they are considered cursed or demonic themselves. Many of the littlest ones were abandoned as babies because their parents couldn’t handle them or they were seen as devil’s spawn,” Xander said sadly.

“And now they have you.” Tony’s voice was equally soft.

Xander snorted. He didn’t think that was a fair trade off.

“I’m guessing you’ve loved them more than enough to make up for it. You’re probably a better parent than their own would have been anyway,” Tony offered.

They stood together, their arms wrapped around each other for a long time.

“So that guy, he was a vampire, not a human, right? He was already dead? So you didn’t murder him, you killed the demon who was wearing his body?” Tony asked.

“Pretty much. Are you going to break up with me now?” Xander asked.

“No, dufus. I’m just glad I’m not dating a criminal. I don’t think they let you have conjugal visits if you’re a boyfriend,” Tony said with a smirk.

“Boyfriend? Dating? As in more than one date?” Xander asked hopefully.

“Uh-huh. Now let’s get to my car. We’ve had enough life changing conversations in dark alleys for the night.”

“Works for me. I’m guessing the naughty fun touching mood has been broken by the unfortunate intrusion and shortened existence of that bloodsucker, huh?” Xander questioned.

“Pretty much,” Tony agreed.

As they settled into his car, as Xander was buckling his seatbelt, Tony asked, “So what’s up with Angel and Spike?”

Previous Chapters

Control!Verse 2/20 - I Can Give Him This - Prompt 19 - Future

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 04:17:41 GMT

I just posted the newest chapter of my Angel/Xander pairing for 20_est_relships

Go read here:

I Can Give Him This

One Shot Song Fic - "Song About Me"

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 01:07:22 GMT

Title: Song About Me
Author: Xanfan
Rating: PG
Pairing: none
Summary: Sometimes, we can’t always say what we mean, but we don’t always need a song and dance demon to make a long due apology in song.
Spoilers: All of Buffy
Warnings: Songfic
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
_____________________________________

I first heard the song on that blasted country music station Xander insisted on listening to. That first time, I didn’t really listen to the words, just the music, admiring the guitar solo in my head, but not out loud for fear of encouraging Xander. The second time I heard it, I listened to the words… and my heart broke. Because the song seemed to be about me, not because of any romantic failures, but rather in reference to my biggest failure, or rather the person I seemed to have failed most. I had no one but myself to blame because time and time again, I had listened to a group of old men instead of my own conscience. The only difference between my folly and the song was that she forgave me.

So I learned the song, and at her 25th birthday party, a party held despite her protest of ‘birthdays bad’, I pulled out his guitar and sang it to her in tribute.

“She was precious, like a flower.
She grew wild, wild but innocent.
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different”

And she was so innocent at the beginning, fresh and wholesome, in the first bloom of youth and womanhood. And we were desperate for a warrior to fight in an unwinnable war. But she wasn’t like her predecessors; she hadn’t grown up knowing what she was destined to become and she had no preconceived notions about how to do her job.

“Stupid boy, you can’t fence that in,
Stupid boy, it’s like holding back the wind.”

It’s what the Watcher’s Council did from practically the beginning of time, try to control and tame the wild thing that was a Slayer.

“She laid her heart and soul right in your hands.
You stole her every dream and you crushed her plans.
She never even knew she had a choice,
but that’s what happens when the only voice
she hears is telling her she can’t.”

Every Slayer is taught to trust her Watcher implicitly, not to question or doubt, and in return they got… nothing. No future, no happy ending, nothing to look forward to but a painful death at the hands of a monster. It’s drilled into them that this is their inescapable destiny, that they were Chosen, but they didn’t have any choices.

“Stupid Boy, Stupid Boy
What made you think you could take a life
And just push it, push it around?
I guess to build yourself up so high,
You had to take her and break her down.”

Hundreds of thousands of years of hubris and stupidity, so sure that the Council’s way was the best way, the only way. But in order to control them, to control their power, we had to strip away their personalities, their uniqueness, we took away everything that was precious and special about them and turned them into weapons, puppets to be manipulated.

“She laid her heart and soul right in your hands.
You stole her every dream and you crushed her plans.
She never even knew had a choice,
but that’s what happens when you only voice
she hears is telling her she can’t.”

For so long, Slayers were kept from family and friends, from having lives, so that they could concentrate on fighting the evil they were called to slay.

“You stupid boy, oh, you always had to be right,
Now you’ve lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive.

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands.
You stole her every dream and you crushed her plans.
She never even knew had a choice,
but that’s what happens when you only voice
she hears is telling her she can’t.”

It was the Watcher’s Council’s own history and self-righteousness that kept them from realizing that their policies that kept the Slayers from connecting with the world and finding someone or something to fight for, kept them from knowing what they were fighting for in the first place.

“You stupid boy, I’m the same old, same old stupid boy.

It took awhile for her to figure out that she could run,
But when she did, she was long gone, long gone.”

But she was different; she had friends and family who reminded her who and what she was fighting to protect. She had people willing to fight by her side, because it was the right thing to do, instead of just one old man watching her fight and critiquing her form. So when those stuffy old men let her down, betrayed her, she walked away. Not from the fight, but from them and their manipulations.

And when I betrayed her, she forgave me and welcomed me back. And I love her like my own child. And when I finished the song, she had tears in her eyes and she understood that I was apologizing as best I could. I was also vowing to dedicate my life to making sure the New Watcher’s Council was not just a bunch of old men who were really stupid boys with no idea what a Slayer needs to be successful.

I Finally Remembered You has been nominated at the Shadows & Dust Awards!

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 00:42:20 GMT

I am so very excited! I Finally Remembered You has been nominated at the Shadows & Dust Fanfiction Awards in THREE categories!

Find all the nominees at :

Enough - Part 6/6 - Nightmare on Xander's Street

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 00:29:25 GMT

Title: Enough – Part 6 – Nightmare on Xander’s Street
Author: Xanfan
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Pairing: mentions of B/R and Xander/Anya with a possible future slash
Summary: Xander confronts Buffy about her feelings for Riley.
Spoilers: After The Replacement, season five
Warnings: AU, possible M/M in the future.

Banner by banner_grab
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: A day or two after The Replacement. Goes AU after that.
_________________________________

Xander jumped when the pounding on his door started.

“Xander, I know you’re in there. Open the door, Xander.”

Riley, who had frozen with a beer half-way to his lips when the yelling started, glanced down at the man in question, who was resting under Riley’s arm, against his side. Panic was rising in both their eyes.

“I could just break down the door, you know that, but I won’t if you let me in right now. Don’t make me break down the door, Xander. You’d never get your security deposit back.”

“What the hell does a security deposit matter when you’ve been ripped limb from limb and are dead and broken on the floor?” Xander whispered to Riley as they both slid off the couch to the floor and started crawling towards the back bedroom, and the fire escape it led to, hoping to avoid being seen through the windows.

“What was it you said, Xander? Oh yeah, ‘it’ll be fun, they’ll laugh and get off our backs, nothing to worry about,’ you said. Is that why we’re cowering in fear right now?” Riley whispered back sarcastically.

“I can hear you moving around in there, you know. You can’t hide from me, so just open the door. I won’t hurt you, I promise… or at least, I won’t hurt you too much. Just enough to make you very, very sorry,” was shouted through the door.

The two men froze in their positions on their hands and knees on the floor, looked at each other in terror and stood quickly, deciding as one to take their chances and make a dash for the bedroom and escape.

They quickly made their way to the room and wrenched open the window, first Xander, then Riley, climbing through onto the fire escape and making their way down. Xander dropped the last few feet to the ground, followed quickly by the former soldier.

When they got their equilibrium back, they both froze at the sight in front of them: two very pissed off blondes. One with a great deal of experience in tormenting men and the other whose very essence was riddled with violence and who practiced stabbing things for fun.

“Uh, hi girls. Wow, Buffy, you got down here fast. How was the Bronze?” Xander tried to ask casually, the effect ruined when his voiced cracked on the last word.

“How was the Bronze? How was the Bronze? The Bronze was fine, Willow and Tara are still there, having a great time. It is, after all, ‘lesbians get in free’ night. Which you failed to mention when you asked us to meet you there tonight and didn’t show, for the third time in as many weeks. Not to mention the bouncer let us in for free because you had showed him our pictures last night and told him we were very excited about our first outing as a couple,” Buffy said, her body rigid with anger.

“Not that we minded not having to pay, because I’m all for saving money,” Anya pointed out.

“Anya! Not the point. Focus here,” Buffy said through gritted teeth.

“Oh, so you didn’t like it when we invited you some place and then didn’t show up so that you two would be alone together on a set up date?” Riley asked innocently.

“Of course we didn’t, that’s mean and rude and… exactly what we’ve been doing to you for the past several weeks,” Buffy ended guiltily.

“But we were just trying to help. You kissed, Alicia told us you did. I know you said it wasn’t real, but she said it was really hot and you both seemed to be enjoying it,” Anya said, confused about why she was supposed to feel guilty.

The two girls noted that both men blushed at that description.

“Anya, honey, Alicia is crazy, she wanted to set a wedding date like five minutes into our first meeting. I was trying to get rid of her, I was desperate. Desperate enough to enjoy kissing Riley if it would get her not to go stalker on me and boil my pet fish,” Xander said in his gentle ‘explaining the world to Anya’ voice.

“Hey!” Riley protested, offended at the idea the a person would have to be desperate to enjoy kissing him.

“Yeah, hey! Riley is a great kisser, you don’t have to be desperate to enjoy kissing him!” Buffy exclaimed in defense of her ex-boyfriend, who was, in fact, a very good kisser.

“I know he’s a good kisser. Wait, ignore that. Anyway, that’s not the point,” Xander defended, ignoring Riley’s raised eyebrows and slight smirk, continuing before he could comment. “Can’t we just call a truce? You won’t push us on each other and we won’t push you on each other? You won’t fix us up on bad dates and we won’t fix you up on bad dates? Doesn’t that seem fair, and not at all likely to get me killed or turned into a butt monkey?”

Anya and Buffy stepped back to confer quietly. After a few minutes of whispered conversation, they turned back to the two men and Buffy said, “Here’s the deal: we won’t set you up on dates anymore and we won’t push you to date each other anymore if you promise to hang out together as friends at least once a week and show up for every Scooby meeting to hang out with us, barring prior commitments or injury or death.”

Riley and Xander stepped back to confer for a moment.

“It’s not like we don’t hang out three or four times a week anyway,” Riley offered in a whisper.

“Yeah, and I’m tired of skipping Scooby meetings just to avoid the awkward conversations and setups, and I am starting to miss Giles’ overcomplicated explanations and glasses cleaning,” Xander whispered back.

They turned back to the girls.

“Deal…” Riley began.

Xander interrupted him with, “But, we have a few conditions of our own.”

“We do?” Riley asked, but at Xander’s lift of the eyebrows that obviously meant ‘play along’, he corrected himself, “Yeah, we do a have a few conditions.”

“And they are?” Anya said impatiently.

“You two agree to hang out with each other as friends at least once a week, without plotting to get us together or in other relationships, and let us take patrol at least one night a week while you, Buffy, take the night off to spend it with your mom and sister and you, Anya, spend it however you want, as long as it’s not patrolling. You could spend time with Willow and Tara, teaching them what you know about demons and magic and how to practice magic safely and responsibly, which I know you know how to do. Or you could hang out with your non-evil demon friends. Or you could hang out with Joyce, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t mind answering your questions about humanity and stuff. Or heck, talk demonology with Giles sometimes, he’s probably get a kick out of it.,” Xander offered, knowing that Anya needed friends who weren’t him and that she and Buffy had really started to bond over torturing him and Riley.

Anya and Buffy were about to respond when Riley continued.

“And you let us know when either of you need help or are feeling overwhelmed. We may not be your boyfriends anymore, but we are still your friends. We don’t have superpowers, but we can still help and be here for you when you need us, either of us.”

The girls rushed forward to give hugs to the two guys.

“We agree,” Buffy said, teary eyed.

“Your terms are acceptable,” Anya said with a suspiciously soggy sniff.

“Cool, we’re going to go back and watch our action movie that has absolutely no girly romance in it whatsoever,” Xander said as he turned back to the fire escape.

“Uh, Xander, why don’t you use the front door?” Buffy asked.

Xander blushed. “I may have forgotten to grab my house keys when we were fleeing in terror.”

Anya smirked and dug into her purse for her spare key that she’d never returned.

“You had that the whole time? Why didn’t you just use it instead of pounding on the door and threatening us?” Riley asked, bewildered.

The two women shared a smirk. And Buffy said, “Now, what fun would that have been?”

As the girls walked away and the two men headed inside, Riley whispered in Xander’s ear, “So are we ever going to tell them that we’re kinda dating now?”

“Are you kidding? And let them know they were right? We’d never hear the end of it. They would lord this over us forever. We need to let enough time pass that we can pretend it was all our idea and had nothing to do with their machinations,” Xander responded as he approached his door.

“Machinations? Have I mentioned how hot you are when you’re plotting and using big words?” Riley said softly, his breath hot on Xander neck as the younger man fumbled the key into the lock.

“You might have mentioned that a time or two?” Xander said with a sexy smirk as he pulled Riley by the collar into his apartment and slammed the door behind them.

Previous Chapters

I Finally Remembered You. Part 36 – Destiny and All That

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 23:45:53 GMT

Title: I Finally Remembered You. Part 36 – Destiny and All That
Author: Xanfan
Rating: R/NC-17 for other chapters
Pairing: X/A
Summary: AU futurefic. Slash. Xander, not Buffy, had gone to see Angel in “I Will Remember You” Years later, he finally keeps his promise.
Spoilers: All of BtVS & Ats
Warnings: Slash M/M, mild language, more in future chapters

Banner Art by katek1010
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Words in Italics indicate thoughts. Except at the very beginning when they indicate ‘previously on ….”

___________________________

Previously on IFRY:

After a moment, Xander pulled back slightly and turned towards Lorne with his trademark brave face. “So, what else do we need to talk about? More big revelations?”

“Nah, I just wanted her negative vibes away from my good mood. Plus, I had no interest in seeing the Xander-shaped hole in the wall when your nerves got the best of you and you made a run for it,” Lorne said as he took a sip of his drink.

Xander opened his mouth, but no words came out. Then he started to giggle, almost hysterically.

Angel couldn’t help but laugh at Lorne’s and Xander’s antics. He knew that an uncomfortable and possibly painful situation awaited them down the hall, but he was very glad that they could have this moment of lightness in the face of what was still to come.

*******************

The minute Spike heard Buffy start to storm back down the hall after Angel had told her to get lost, he grabbed Willow by the arm and made a run for it up the stairs with her in tow, yelling, “Abandon ship! Slutty the Vampire Layer snit alert - run for your lives, witches and vampires first!” over his shoulder as he went. He smirked at the sounds of human and Slayer feet scrambling for cover from the angry senior Slayer.

When Spike reached his room, he shoved Willow in, and slammed the door behind him, holding up a finger for silence when the witch opened her mouth to speak, listening at the door to see if they were followed.

Satisfied that they were safe (at least for the moment), he turned to her and leaned back against the door, putting one booted foot flat against it, and smirked, very smugly. He could see her practically bouncing in anticipation.

“Why’d you bring me to your room, why not hide in mine? And also, I know you heard what they were saying in there after Faith stormed in. So? Spill, Bleachy, what did you hear?” Willow demanded impatiently.

“Obvious, idn’t it? Buffy’s gonna come looking for a shoulder to cry on and she’d be looking in your room, wouldn’t she? Last place she’d think to find you is in my room. As for what I heard… a little of this, a little of that,” Spike taunted, seemingly nonchalant. His eyes widened when the redhead started advancing on his position against the door.

“You will tell me what I want to know,” Willow growled. After a moment of Spike’s shocked silence, she backed up with a blush. “Sorry, I was stuck in the moment again, I’m all better now. So, what did they say?”

Spike eyed her warily before he gave in and grinned at her antics. “Well….”

“Spike!”

The blond vampire chuckled. “It seems the whelp and the poof are destined, meant to be and all that. The Powers That Be finally did some good messin’ with our lives and helped out a bit.”

Willow just stood there, goggle-eyed at that announcement.

“Meant to be?” she whispered.

Spike nodded.

“Wow!” Willow exclaimed.

“Got that right. Who’da thought those two would be all ‘destined to be’ and shite?” Spike asked.

Willow thought about what she had seen of Angel and Xander since what was left of the AI team had come to stay with them. “Now? Yeah, I see it. The ease of their interactions, their unconscious affection and mannerisms, the way they look at each other, they way they laugh together? It all makes sense. But back in the early days? Not a chance. Although, some of that antagonism has to have been sexual tension, don’t you think?”

Spike laughed. “Oh, there was sexual tension, alright, from both of ‘em. But the love sod? Didn’t see it then.”

Willow continued on thoughtfully with a small smile at the vampire’s words. “Do you think any of the rest of us have someone we’re meant to be with? Do you think it was Tara? Do you think I’ll be alone for the rest of my life now because she’s gone?”

“There now, ducks,” Spike began as he pushed away from the wall and pulled the sad-eyed witch into his arms. “Maybe we’re meant to love the people we loved, when we loved ‘em. Glinda was meant for you at that time, but now ya’ve got someone else you’re meant to have. Maybe ya needed the other people in your life, your other loves, to get ya all set, prepared like, for the next one.”

“Really?” Willow sniffled against his black t-shirt.

“I wouldn’t lie to ya, would I?”

Willow giggled. “Yes you would, just for fun.”

“Yeah, I would, but not about this,” Spike admitted.

They stayed there for awhile, taking what comfort could be had while thinking of the loves they both had lost over the years.

“I really loved her, you know,” Willow whispered.

“I know, luv, I know. She was a good one, that one. Full of goodness and light, couldn’t help but love her a little bit meself. Not romantic like, but friend like. You could tell she’d been from a bad place, but she pulled herself up and changed her life as best she could. Had spirit and guts, she did,” Spike said, a touch of pride in his voice for the fallen witch.

“She was shy, but she was strong, inside. When she left me, I was hurt and mad, but a part of me was proud of her for standing up for herself and doing what she thought was right for both of us,” Willow admitted.

“Was proud of her meself,” Spike agreed. After some more silence, “I wonder if it wasn’t like in that book, A Separate Peace; she was too good for this world, too good to live in it. She had to leave it, or it would have tainted her too much, broken her.”

“That actually makes sense. I’m glad I couldn’t bring her back. As much as I love her and miss her everyday, I couldn’t live with myself if I’d done to her what I did to Buffy. Ripped her out of heaven. I can’t imagine she’d be anyplace else,” Willow said.

“Ya made a mistake with Buffy, Red, but I think you learned from it, eventually. I know you won’t be doin’ anything like that again. And o’ course Glinda’s in heaven, ain’t no other place for a soul like hers,” Spike assured.

“So, Xander and Angel were meant to be, huh?” Willow asked, changing the subject back.

“Seems like,” Spike agreed.

“But that’s not all, is it? Something more is going on, or was going on. There’s something we’re missing Spike, a big piece of the puzzle,” Willow insisted.

“I did hear a few words here or there, sometin’ about Thanksgiving and a visit to L.A.” Spike offered.

Willow stepped back and stared at him. “The Thanksgiving after you got chipped, when Xander took Buffy and Dawn down to L.A. to visit their dad and Buffy made him go give Angel a message, ‘cause she was pissed that Angel had been lurking and hadn’t bothered to see her!?!”

Spike nodded; that made sense.

“But Xander said it only took a few minutes. He left the message, Angel didn’t shoot the messenger, Angel killed a demon that burst in on them and Xander left,” Willow said in confusion.

Spike thought back over what he had over heard and remembered a conversation he had interrupted between Faith and Xander, something about a…. “Lost day!”

“What?” Willow asked.

“I walked in on Faith and the whelp talking a few days back, they stopped talking when I interrupted, but I think I heard sometin’ about a lost or missin’ day,” Spike offered.

“What the hell is going on?” Willow asked in frustration and confusion. She sat down and pulled a piece of paper and a pen off of Spike’s desk and began to make notes. “So, something happened between Xander and Angel and now they’re all destined and stuff. It happened after the first Thanksgiving after Angel left for L.A. But it couldn’t have happened then, because there wasn’t enough time for anything to happen, because it was just a few minutes, and I know because Xander can’t lie to me worth crap and Cordelia called to say that he was still alive, like, moments after he left.”

“But there’s this missin’ day shite, wot does that mean?” Spike said excitedly, getting into the little mystery solving they were doing.

Willow’s brow wrinkled in concentration and Spike couldn’t help but think it was cute when she did that.

Suddenly, Willow stood up. “Oh. My. God!”

“Wot?” Spike asked in confusion.

“The lost day, something happened, and then it didn’t!” Willow exclaimed.

“Again, wot?” Spike asked, no less confused.

“Don’t you see? Somehow, whatever happened, happened on that day, and then the day was taken away, or reset or something and it didn’t happen, but it really had, but it hadn’t,” Willow babbled.

“I’ve still no bloody idea what the hell you’re saying,” Spike growled in frustration.

“Something happened between Angel and Xander when Xander was in L.A. But, for some reason, that day was erased like it didn’t happen. And they forgot, or at least one of them did, but then they didn’t really, because some part of them remembered,” Willow said slowly.

“Bloody hell!” Spike exclaimed in dawning realization. “The poof remembered. He had to have. Every time he said the boy’s name, he’d get all broody, worse ‘an normal, worse ‘an the Buffy Brood.”

“But Xander didn’t, because when he came back, I think he honestly thought nothing had happened. But he’d blush at Angel’s name, for some reason, and even he’d be confused about why he blushed,” Willow added.

“And they said the PTBs had helped out, nudged a bit. Maybe let the boy have some of his memories or sometin’?” Spike offered.

“Like subconsciously?” Willow asked.

“Yes!”

“But why? Why take the day away? Why did Angel remember and not Xander? Why do they both seem to remember now?” Willow asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out,” Spike said as he opened the door, intending to go and confront the duo in question, only to find said couple standing outside the door, Xander with one hand raised to knock.

“Looking for us?” Xander asked.

“You bet your hienie we are,” Willow said as she and Spike each grabbed one of them by the arm and pulled them into the room.

Previous Chapters

Solid Ground 13 - Oh no, it's up to my thigh!

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:11:31 GMT

Title: Solid Ground – Part 13 – Oh no, it’s up to my thigh!
Author: Xanfan
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: eventually, X/A
Summary: SLASH - Xander is assaulted by his secret boyfriend and needs to get out of Sunnydale to heal. He and Tara go to L.A. to recover from their screwed up lives.
Spoilers: Up through most of season six of BtVS, goes AU at end of Entropy. Through season 4 of Angel, Okay, just pretty much anything from all seasons of both shows is fair game.
Warnings: SLASH M/M, violence, description of non-con.

Banner art by sanity_oasis
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Anya broke up with Xander after “Once More with Feeling” He began another relationship not long after that. Buffy never told Tara why she wanted to know if she ‘came back wrong’, so Tara doesn’t know about her and Spike. Tara doesn’t die, because she isn’t there to get back together with Willow. This takes place right after Xander & Buffy see Anya and Spike on video, courtesy of spy cams.
___________________________________________

Bad Shit, thy name is Buffy. Or at least that’s what it felt like to Cordelia. She knew the minute she answered the phone and heard Buffy’s voice that they were all about to be hip deep in trouble.

“Cordelia? It’s Buffy; I need to talk to Angel.”

“Buffy, how nice to hear from you, I’m good, thanks for asking,” Cordy said with no small amount of sarcasm.

“Cordy, I’m sorry; I just don’t have time for this right now. Can I please talk to Angel?” Buffy’s voice was laced with frustration.

“Sorry, Angel’s a bit busy right now. You know, saving lives, fighting monsters, trying not to throttle his son for being a brat,” Cordy replied.

The silence over the other end of the line was deafening. Cordelia tried not to smirk. It’s not like she had intentionally mentioned Connor, knowing how much the subject of Angel’s son, or more specifically the fact that he was proof the vampire had slept with someone else, irked the blonde Slayer. Oh right, yes she had.

“Is there something I could help you with, or possibly a message I could give to Angel?” Cordy asked.

“Fine, could you please tell Angel that the high school we went to so much trouble to blow up, you know the one that was right over the Hellmouth? Well, it’s being rebuilt, on the same exact spot. And Dawn starts 9th grade this year. You know what that means? It means my baby sister is going to high school over a Hellmouth. My sister, who quite literally can’t step foot out of bed without getting into some kind of trouble, the one I take on patrol with me just so I can keep an eye on her and so she won’t burn down the house while I’m gone, is going to go to school in a place that leads straight to hell! It’s a big, freaking, disaster!” Buffy’s voice had started out semi-calm, but had steadily filled with hysteria until she was shouting the last words.

The seer pondered that for a moment, not bothering to try and calm the Slayer down. After a moment, she conceded, “You’re right, that is a pretty big deal. I’ll call Angel on his cell phone. With any luck, Xander will show him how to answer it and he’ll call you back and we’ll figure out if there is anyway to minimize the damage.”

“Thanks Cordy. And Cordy?”

“Yes?”

“…..How is Xander?”

The former cheerleader froze, wondering if Buffy knew something.

“Why do you ask?” Cordy questioned cautiously.

“He’s my friend, and I miss him,” Buffy said defensively. In one of her classically random moments of true clarity and awareness, she said, “And something happened to him that you guys didn’t tell me about and I probably wasn’t prepared to deal with. I’m not sure what, but I know something happened and I know the move out there was as much for him as for Tara, if not more so.”

After a moment of stunned silence, Cordelia responded softly, “He’s doing… better. He’s physically healed, back to the whole demon fighting thing. He says it’s different going out to kick ass with a bunch of guys, instead of girls. And he misses the cookies and chips, the guys never remember to bring snacks like you and Willow always did. He told this really awful joke the other day about lesbians to Tara, who smacked him upside the head and almost washed his mouth out with soap. He was Xander again, it was nice. Not the joke, but seeing him being him again, was… really great.”

“It was bad, wasn’t it,” Buffy whispered, her voice so subdued that Cordelia almost missed the question.

“Yes,” Cordy said softly, but bluntly.

“But, it’s better now?” Buffy asked hopefully.

“It’s getting there, he’s getting there.”

“Can you ask him if he has any ideas about how to not get Dawnie killed or kidnapped while going to school on the mouth of hell, you know, before you ask Angel?”

Cordelia smiled. “That will probably thrill him. I bet you miss the Xanderplans, don’t you?”

“I didn’t think I would, but, I was doing it alone this summer, with just Dawn with me on patrol, and I realized how much he always helped, just by being there and coming up with these wacky ideas that somehow seemed to work,” Buffy admitted.

Cordelia couldn’t stop herself from asking, “So, Spike wasn’t around to help out and proclaim his undying love?”

Buffy snorted. “After the whole Anya thing, he just disappeared. Haven’t seen leather nor bleached blond crisply gelled curl of him since.”

After a moment of awkward silence, Buffy said, “Oh yeah, and Dawn told me to tell Tara and Xander ‘Hi.’ She’s kind of been pushing for us to come down and visit, maybe do a little shopping, but mostly she wants to see them, and you, for some reason.”

“That actually might not be a bad idea. I’ll talk with them, but it might be a good thing and we could brainstorm the whole ‘new high school on the Hellmouth’ thing while you’re here,” Cordelia replied, plans already forming in her head.

“Sounds great, call me when you have an idea of when and stuff,” Buffy replied, happy with the prospect of seeing her friends and even Cordelia.

“Will do. I’ll talk to you later.”

Previous Chapters

Enough has been nominated at the SunnyD Awards!

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 03:44:45 GMT

My fic, Enough, has been nominated at the Sunnydale Memorial Fanfiction Awards for Best Episode Re-Write and Best Pairing Unconventional!

Thank you to whoever nominated me. Go see all the nominees at

P.S.

The Crossroads of Fanfiction, the crossover fanfiction archive I started (with a ton of help!) has been nominated at the Solemn Grace Awards for best Fanfic Archive and Best Layout (all katekat101, she did all the artwork and figured out how to make it work).

Go see all the nominees at